7 min. read
Let me start this little article by acknowledging the irony that this will be posted on the few social media profiles I have remaining. While talking about less social media for myself in 2020, I’m trying to get your attention to read those thoughts on social media. A conundrum, perhaps. Noted.
Now, I’d like to share some changes I’m making this year and some of the why behind these changes.
I’ve already been on social media much less over the last half of 2019. Facebook kept sending me desperate emails trying to update me on all that’s happening that I’m missing out on. “Did you know that these 12 people have new stories?” . . . “Don’t miss out on these updates!” . . . “Brian, you’re a loser for not posting anything in the past three weeks!” I got annoyed and opted out of all those emails. But I will be on Facebook even less in 2020.
Why Less?
Well, there is a part of me that would cancel Facebook entirely if I didn’t need to be on there for the various groups I’m in concerning my PhD work, my creative and theatre projects, and so forth. Though it is nice to keep somewhat up-to-date on family and friend happenings. But I don’t scroll through the feed much at all, so if something isn’t near the top, I probably won’t see it. You see, I have grown tired of much of what social media has become. I am worn out with the selective slices of life, the incessant self-promotion, the ideological—I almost spelled that “idiotological”—soap boxes, and so forth.
Have I selectively shared a carefully narrated part of my life on social media before? Yep. Have I shamelessly promoted myself and my projects and my endeavors on social media before? Absolutely, Have I vented my way of seeing government, society, culture, faith, the world on social media before? Indeed.
But I don’t have much desire to do those things anymore. And I definitely don’t want to spend moments in my day on social media mostly seeing such from others. I don’t know how to not think ill of others who mostly do these things (a very hypocritical impulse on my part, I know). And so, as a practice, I will fill less of my life with it. And maybe, just maybe, there will be more space and time for a little more joy to creep in.
Plus, as a 4 with a 5 wing (that’s an Enneagram thing), I perpetually feel like everyone else is experiencing something I’m not, or even can’t and never will. I’m a tragic melancholy. It’s just the way I’m made. So I don’t need to feed that notion. I have no fear of missing out, because I spend every moment already knowing I’m missing out.
I have cancelled my Twitter account, as well. I think it is a vast wasteland. I have many friends who find it valuable. But it seems to be mostly a place for vitriol, ignorance, and cross-talking. No real dialogue lives there. And if it does, again, I don’t want to spend the time in 2020 to go find it. I mean, my profile description read, “This is where Brian says those things he feels and thinks that get him in trouble with people who expect him to be more like them.” Does the world really need that? No. I upset plenty of people with what I write, or preach, or direct, or create, or just say in passing conversation. I don’t need to intentionally add to that.
And true, there are writers, thinkers, and voices on there that I might miss. But, really, whatever they are saying in a few tweeted characters, I don’t need to know. I will return to reading more of their books, blog posts, interviews, etc. If they are worth my time and attention—and they are—I’ll listen to them longform.
As for Instagram, I’ll keep that around as I have a few real Instagram followers. But as with Facebook, I won’t be on there much and I probably won’t post much either. I just don’t want to take the time and energy to pose and get someone else to take my carefully planned picture. I can’t quite figure out what good it might serve, but I’ll give it one more year to see.
On my phone, I’ve had a social media screen time limit set for 15 minutes a day for several months now. I’ve occasionally hit that mark. In 2020, I’ll be reducing that limit to 8 minutes to further help me in this practice of less in 2020.
I’ve Actually Done Some Stuff
Here’s the thing. I’ve already done so much in my 44 years of life, that I don’t feel the need to be posting much about anything.
I want to practice gratitude for what I’ve accomplished, not spend my efforts milking the desire that others will notice what I’ve done. If some day I become a “star” as a writer or actor or director or whatever, maybe I’ll do the Twitter thing out of some sort of hypothesized necessity. But that is very unlikely to happen since I’m no longer pursuing those things to that end.
I’m a published author already (with an actual publishing house, not self-published). I’ve had a career as a professional actor and a professional director on stage. I’ve been in movies. I’ve been a sought after speaker and preacher. I’ve been an innovative educator and leader. I hold advanced degrees in theatre arts, literature, and theology.
I’ve already done a lot of things I’ve set out to do. So if I am involved in those things in the future (and I will continue to be), it is not to promote myself or career any more. I will do those things out of self-fulfillment, service to others, and to share in the experience with others either as participant or an equipper who grants others the opportunities to excel in their own endeavors.
But there are very important things I have yet to do, and those need my focus in 2020. So while there will be less of what I’ve deemed superfluous activity, there will be more time, resource, and investment in other things.
More of this in 2020
Like my PhD work. I’m coming down the homestretch of classes and tutorial work in my degree program. By the end of this year, I’ll be in the research and early writing phases on my dissertation (hopefully to be completed by the end of 2021). So I have lots to read and write and think about.
My wife and I have sacrificed a lot to raise and educate our kids and pursue various other things. We’d like to travel to some new places this year, have some new experiences, go to some more concerts. And that means I’ll have to sacrifice something (I don’t know what, but money and time put in one area usually means money and time taken from some other area).
I have kids the ages of 15, 12, and 9. I want to do my best as a parent (though I know I’ll continue to fall short), enabling them to enter college and adult years as human beings that love well, serve well, lead well, relate well and can become even better parents than they’ve had. That means they need even more of my time, my best attitudes, my best efforts, my presence.
And, yes, there are creative pursuits, though I don’t know what all those are yet. But they are things that will matter for more people, either in the city I’m in, or if the city isn’t interested in such, then beyond.
Plus I’m writing lots of things that may or may not be published. But it doesn’t matter. I’m writing them because I’m a creative who is compelled to create.
More “Real” in 2020
Study, relationship, responsibility, creation: these are the things there are more of for me in 2020.
Again, why less of social media and the resultant trappings in 2020? Because I don’t need it all.
If you’d like to keep up with me, I’ll try to do a better job of chronicling a few things throughout the year here on my website. But I’d love to hear from you directly. Shoot me an email. Let’s talk on the phone. Or, hey, here’s a novel idea: let’s spend an hour together face-to-face. I think that’s called “in real life.” It would probably be good for this introvert to have some face time.