2 min. read
Attempting to engender discipleship in the local church context can be an exercise in futility. Heck, even trying to be a disciple outside of the hourly corporate worship gathering can seem overwhelming.
As I am trying to experiment with ways to focus on relationships and modeling/teaching discipleship as a relational practice more so than just an information exchange, I’m discovering that relationships are hard. Duh! But especially for us who are introverts.
How might we better tackle one of the obstacles in sharing relationship: getting to know each other?
It’s All About Vulnerability
Yeah, vulnerability kind of sucks. As someone who has no problem speaking to hundreds and even thousands at a time, one-on-one conversations fill me with unhealthy trepidation. I can have four one-on-one meetings in a day and be exhausted. It’s just not my strength. But it’s necessary in order to share life with others.
And if you are trying to forge a discipling relationship, in which you are sharing life with others in the regular rhythms of life, then vulnerability will show up.
There is a wall that we hit with in any relationship if we choose to hold back our true selves and project a facade. Everybody has crap in their lives: sin, brokenness, hurt, and so on. So to act like you don’t is an obvious lie.
Try this ::
- pick one relationship that you are in the early stages of (for most of us, that leaves it wide open);
- over coffee, or dinner, or a beer, or … you decide … share one wound you have;
- just ask the other person to listen;
- wait and see what happens.
It’s scary, I know. But I can say that the more you share your wounds, the more natural it becomes. Because you begin to realize that this is the gateway to authentic relationship in community.
There is a profound level of trust that is naturally engendered when we share one another’s wounds, burdens, griefs, and suffering. And as my co-pastor and good friend Lance Sellon recently preached,
“The strongest power we have is to bear the pain of others so that they may not hurt.”
This is a level of intimate trust that is part of the process of relationship. It takes time, resources, and vulnerability.
So Tell Me Something
What other ways can we face this challenge in relationships?