3 min. read
Sometimes our architecture and geographic plans can speak truths into our lives.
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Though we don’t currently live on a cul-de-sac, we’ve resided on several in the past. One of our previous homes was located on a cul-de- sac, but the road was designed more like a short drive. There were four houses on the road; all on the left or at the end, and none of the houses’ front doors faced each other.
But the designers of another street where we once lived got it right. There were seven houses surrounding a circle with just one opening for the inlet of the road. At anytime, any of us could see each other at the front or back doors (depending on which home). Each house faced all the other houses.
This picture reminds me of other “circle-like” settings I encounter on any given week. Restaurants are more and more going away from straight rows and arranging their tables in semi-circle arrangements, such that all the diners can see each other without too much neck-craning. The era of the enclosed and cordoned off mall seems to be coming to an end, and outdoor shopping areas are being constructed in semi-circle fashion. Gone are the strip-mall constructions and in are the wide-open, “every shopper sees each other” arrangements. At the Sunday brunches we host in our backyard, we all sit around tables, facing each other. No rows of chairs, everyone facing one direction toward some perceived “leader.” There is full disclosure in such a setting.
In architectural designs and social settings I see a simple, basic need being addressed: people desire connection.
In architectural designs and social settings I see a simple, basic need being addressed: people desire connection. Even if it is superficial connection. People need to feel like they belong, even if it is belonging to a transient community of shoppers. The cul-de-sac, the restaurant, the shopping center, the backyard gathering are all physically speaking to the one need that everyone shares regardless of worldview and belief system.
This to me this is a wonderful challenge, both to the individual and groups of people. Can we allow people to belong to our community at the level they are comfortable with? How long will we force people to fit into a certain type of mold and “belong” only when they assent to a certain belief, or political stance, or way of perceiving the world? Can we live open lives that invite a sense of belonging?
The One I follow was inclusive. Jesus allowed everyone to belong. His life was (and is) an open invitation.
The One I follow was inclusive. Jesus allowed everyone to belong. His life was (and is) an open invitation.
But what if you feel you don’t belong to a particular group? Maybe you’ve tried for sometime and still feel like an outsider. Maybe you’ve even assimilated some of the grammar and ways of living of the particular group, and still you don’t fit in.
I’d suggest it’s time for you to break the mold. Be who you are! Don’t waste time embracing what some specific group says you must be, or think, or say, or do in order to belong. Instead embrace your uniqueness. In doing so, you’re perception of the world around you will begin to change. And you’ll find others who are also into some barrier-breaking. You might even find you belong to the way of non-conformity!
There are many of us who refuse to unnecessarily conform in order to belong. Instead, we find we belong to most everyone because we begin by not putting parameters on the types of people we choose to accept.